The days are so long for us in our household. We have received our third previo. This one is the same as our last one. Accusations of false witness signatures [having to do with the BM's BC]. sigh. When we received this kick out in the end of August, we had hope. We had witness declarations for these witnesses to sign. Alas, PGN, specifically, the second reviewer (a big screw you) is saying that is not good enough. I don't understand it. I don't want to... I just want someone to make this all better. I'm tired. I'm sad. My husband is sad. We're angry. Mostly, sad. This is a child we have endured so much heartache for, a child that we love - even though, legally she is not ours... legally never meant anything in our hearts. We're reminded that we're young, there would be time. True, but there is no other Madeline. I would never get over losing her. I have bonded with this child. I woke up every.single.night for weeks after coming home from Guatemala searching for her. So, back to PGN.... Can I just say, this is bullshit? Thanks. It is bullshit. So what now? That is my question. One that is not answered. One that is prolonged by days. Why? Why aren't people clearing schedules to find a way to fix this? I've waited a good long time. I've paid my dues, I've paid my money, I've tried to be patient. Can anyone blame me here? There is no patience left in my heart. There is numbness. Yet... it aches. Aches to see her again, aches to bring her home to PENNSYLVANIA. Aches to be done with this whole process. "Eventually she'll come home" .... But guess what? No one knows how to fix this. No, I take that back. They DO know how to fix it. But no one wants to go the route of annuling the birth certificate. Recently .... as in, last night, I was told 6 months, 3 years.... somewhere in between that time for an annulment. What? 3 years? What, 6 more months? Then.... PGN? Then... waiting for the embassy. We're talking another year plus, here. Everyone knows.... we can't stand another day. Not another minute. Not another second! This is cruel. Nothing I have done in life has been this bad to deserve such torture.
So... in case you skipped the babbling.... we have no answers. we have no hope. we have NO MADELINE. This scares me. very much. Please pray that we can find a way to fix this. Please pray that we don't have to annul. I'm not sure that we would go through with it. She deserves a family just like every other child in Guatemala. We love this baby. It will kill me if we lose her. My heart will stop beating. She is MY daughter. My baby. The love of my life. Legally or not - She is MINE.
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2 comments:
Oh I am so sorry- I wish there was something I could do. I will pray that they find a quick and acceptable fix and that you do not have to go the longer route.
I am so sorry to hear about this mess. this is so f***Ed up!
how can they do this to people??
(because they CAN!)
I hope another way can be found, or your reviewer has to suddenly take and extended leave of absense and your file is transferred to someone that actually has a heart!
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